If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, Peggy Noonan should be blushing right now.
On Friday, in her Wall Street Journal column, Noonan lamented the recent passing of the greats of the media and commentariat – Safire, Irving Kristol, Walter Cronkite. “The Elders” she called them, and asked if anyone angling to replace them is fit to carry the mantle of the wise, thoughtful opinion-shaper. Or are we going to be besieged by “the ranters,” the worst of the cable and talk radio hosts who believe anger is a proxy for wisdom?
Today, a contributor to the sports blog Deadspin offers a replication of Noonan’s column. But in this version, the Elders are the (semi-)greats of the gridiron.
Noonan’s column starts this way:
When William Safire died the other day, we lost one of the Elders of journalism and the argumentative arts. We’ve been losing a lot of them lately: Walter Cronkite, Bob Novak, Don Hewitt, Irving Kristol. “The stars seem to be going out one by one,” said Howard Stringer at Cronkite’s memorial.
The Deadspin column begins:
When Chad Pennington dislocated his shoulder the other day, we lost one of The Elders of football and the quarterbacking arts. We’ve been losing a lot of them lately: Marc Bulger, Donovan McNabb, Matt Hasselbeck, Daunte Culpepper. “The stars seem to be going out one by one,” said Trent Dilfer at Pennington’s press conference.
After suggesting that the rise of abusive media personalities could set off people who are unbalanced, Noonan writes:
This is why, I think, so many people—I include, literally, every person I know, from all walks of life, and all ages—are worried that our elected leaders are not safe, that this overheated era will end in some violent act or acts.
Stop reading this and ask whoever’s nearby, “Do you find yourself worrying about President Obama’s safety?” I do not think you are going to get, “No.”
After relating Daunte Culpepper’s harrowing stubbed-toe episode last month, Deadspin follows:
This is why, I think, so many people—I include, literally, every person I know, from all walks of life, and all ages—are worried that our old quarterbacks are not safe, that this overheated era will end in some injurious play or plays.
Stop reading this and ask whoever’s nearby, “Do you find yourself worrying about Kurt Warner’s safety?” I do not think you are going to get, “No.”
Yes, it’s more straight-up cut-and-paste than well-crafted satire, but amusing all the same.
